The Show Must Go On

With all the Big Brother hype we thought you might like a fly on the wall view of what goes on when 10 girls get nearly naked. 3 weeks ago I, along with 10 gorgeous beauties headed along to Benidorm Palace to strip half naked, all in the name of fashion.

Thankfully after much persuasion from the other girls I was convinced to keep my clothes on and leave the stripping down to the professionals. So how do you put a fashion show together? Well firstly you enlist the help of someone who has done this all before. Now you all know our Lizzie (the one who writes the better half of our articles) well she has been involved in modeling since before she could walk. I think she probably modeled her nappies like a professional!

Anyway, help enlisted, the next step is to find the victims. My theory on this is to ask as many girls as you can, and you should get a healthy return, it’s always worked for me with men! That or ply all of your friends with alcohol and get them to say yes whilst under the influence. Both methods work, but being a bit of a sadist the second is much funnier, especially when you see the look on their faces the following day.

Next is the first rehearsal. This is where you scare them to death with choreographed moves that a contortionist would find impossible, let alone a group of already terrified individuals; But, with a firm lead and more alcohol you manage to get them to the venue and convince them that “of course no one will show up, I cant think of anyone who would want to stare at a bunch of gorgeous half naked girls. Hysteria aside (and that’s me not them) we get through it all intact, and still remaining friends. So on to the show. Backstage is a mixture of nerves, excitement and a queue for the mirrors.

Now as you can see from our picture these girls are all gorgeous so the need for enhancement is a minimum, but try telling that to them. Thankfully we have enough mirrors to avoid the inevitable cat fights, and the heavy scent of hairspray is drugging us all in to a comatose state anyway!

With 3 minutes to showdown a wonderful crackle of excitement is running backstage and the usual group of guys are vying for the best positions out front, nothing new there. The first beats of music start and before you know it you are whipping the knickers off the first set of girls and shoving them into the next set, and believe me you lose all sense of dignity when you are being fitted. All the routines fly by in a flash, and as the last beat of music dies the sense of excitement is running high, its all I can do to hold on to them, and stop them from running back onstage to do it all again.

Amazing, from terrified beginnings these 10 individuals have grown into confident consummate professionals with insatiable onstage appetites, but thankfully they all remain down to earth girls with a fantastic sense of humor. So I am going to take this opportunity to thank them all for being such good sports. Big air kisses to Katie, Emma, Charly, Rachel, Hannah, Caroline, Vanessa, Rosie, Linda, Victoria and the lovely Lizzie, and backstage stripping help from Vicky, Katie, Sharon and Angela, our shows would be nothing without all of you.

60 degrees in the Shades

Sunglasses a fashion accessory or a necessity? This week whilst sipping sangria in one of the beach front bars, I was thoroughly astonished to see how many face covering sunglasses are now in fashion. I know we are reliving the glorious and chic 60’s, but I am not so sure about being able to keep these huge rimmed accessories on my pert little nose. Some of them look like they need scaffolding to support the frames, BUT, a handbag is not complete without a pair artfully strung around the handles.

Sunglasses a fashion accessory or a necessity? This week whilst sipping sangria in one of the beach front bars, I was thoroughly astonished to see how many face covering sunglasses are now in fashion. I know we are reliving the glorious and chic 60’s, but I am not so sure about being able to keep these huge rimmed accessories on my pert little nose. Some of them look like they need scaffolding to support the frames, BUT, a handbag is not complete without a pair artfully strung around the handles.

This summer add a new accessory to your list in the form of shades. Change them like your knickers, reflect your moods with them, but always make sure they have full UVA protection as we don’t want your winkers to become squinters.

How how do we look super 60’s chic in our shades, well thankfully oversized is not all that’s on offer. We have the all time Top Gun favorites the Aviators which are being seen on the likes of Sienna Miller and Paris Hilton; then we have the huge Jackie O’s which are supported by fashion icon Victoria Beckham; also on show are the Retro super sophisticated Bardot style recently seen on gorgeous Kate Moss, and lastly but by no means least the square retro style favored by the ever stylish Gwen Stefani.

When choosing your “Super” shades one of the top tips is to choose a shape opposite to the shape of your face; for example if you have a rounder shape go for a squarer lens and vice versa but my advice is take some time choosing a pair, find something that suits you and always always look for a bargain, you don’t have to spend loads of money to look as good as the celebs. Here is a great website I came across on my search this week Not Designer.

Caution, Built for Speed Only!!

What is it with men and Speedo’s, whilst basking on the beach this Thursday I was blessed with the site of a very large hairy man sporting a pair of miniscule Speedo’s. Trying unsuccessfully to hold on to my lunch I was then offered a view which most would consider traumatic at best of said individual bending down directly in front of me, overworking his already straining Speedo’s. Oh my God I hear you all cry but sadly the Speedo’s did survive to be worn another day.

Carthesis over and feeling much more psychologically balanced again, I swiftly move on to safer ground in the form of celebrating 60 years of the Bikini. Bikinis have evolved so much over the past 60 years and have become the must have of any women’s summer wardrobe. Made infamous during the 60’s & 70’s with the iconic shots of Ursula Andress and Bo Derek striding sexily from the shallows of a sunkissed beach, the Bikini became a hot fashion item which was to stay at the top of the summer fashion charts since then.

Now the Bikini I know is not for everybody, and being a busty broad, I like many other larger ladies find Bikinis a very scary item. Thankfully with the introduction of proper cup sizes and flattering briefs I too have found a couple of Bikini’s even I feel comfortable in. But if the Bikini is really not for you maybe go for another version of the two piece in the form of a Tankini which is half way between a bikini and a swimsuit, covering more but with the option of getting your tummy’s tanned if you wish.

Now with all that talk of tanned bodies and baby oil, I am off to the beach to top up my tan and get another fix of Dan Brown. So over to Lizzie for some advice on how to keep your nails in shape for the summer.

Where do I start and finish? There's so much information on the market today about nails. Best tip I can give you is, don't use them as tools! Take care of them, treat yourself to a manicure or give yourself a manicure on a regular basis.

We all desire long strong beautiful nails but how do we achieve them? (TLC) Tender Loving Care. When washing up or cleaning use rubber gloves. The chemicals in many cleaning agents are harmful and dry nails out causing them to split, peel and break.

Let’s chat about weak nails and is there a solution to this problem? Keep them short whilst you renourish them and give them a chance to rebuild strength. Use a good base coat that contains vitamins and proteins, Vitamin E is a great healer and conditioner. Use a soft nail file to keep the edges neat. (Do not over file!) Massage cuticle oil into the matrix (cuticle area at base of nail) to stimulate growth and use a good hand cream to keep the skin soft and supple.

Hot Summer Makeup

Sun kissed, sexy and stylish is the look for summer but how do we achieve this? Do you dare to go bare for summer? Noooo I hear you scream in horror, well you will be pleased to know you don’t have to. Girls beware! A full face of foundation in summer can be disastrous, by the middle of the afternoon it can look like a mini mudslide, streaky, patchy and just ugh! What else can I use? I hear you say.

My top tips for summer are tinted moisturizer, bronzing creams, bronzing powders and pearls, there’s lots to choose from.
A tinted moisturizer is every girls make up bag must have for summer, tinted moisturizer offers coverage, gives a healthy glow and moisturizes throughout the day. Many contain SPF (sun protection factors) protecting our delicate skin against sun damage. Apply as you would your foundation and blend blend blend girls, nothing looks less polished that a tide line around the chin or unevenly applied make up. Dust the skin with a loose powder for super staying power.

Bronzing powders and pearls offer a shimmery summer glow; however they don’t give coverage, so if you don’t have the confidence to go bare opt for the tinted moisturizer with a powder on top. If you are fortunate enough to have blemish free skin then powders are an option and are easy to use. You will need a large dusting brush to cover the face and a smaller brush to add definition. Most importantly if you are planning on sunbathing try to use a good sun cream that offers UVA and UVB protection. Cell protection systems helps prevent longer term skin damage and may contain anti-ageing properties which gets a big thumbs up from me, anything to keep those wrinkles at bay.

Fashion

What on earth goes on in the heads of fashion designers, can someone please tell me? What I want to know is when has it become fashionably necessary to see quite so much of a mans undergarments when you are not yet in a stable relationship?

These intimate items of clothing now solicitously stick out of perilously attached jeans mocking those of us who have no fashion sense just a sense of decency. Then to further add insult to injury half the said pants don’t look like they have seen soap and water in the last decade. God I sound like my mother “arghhhhhhh” Where along the road to thirtydom did I lose my cutting edge style and start to become Bridget Jones?

Note to diary “I must remember to take fashion tips from my 13 year old more often” Noooooot!!!!
Well whenever that happened I still have a lot of my own fashion faux pars to own up to. Like most approaching or already in the Dirty Thirties I too went through the eighties when fashion really was at its lowest. Designers decided to try out some of their more ludicrous creations on us the unsuspecting general public, oh and have a good laugh to boot. Take Rupert jeans for example, what was going on in my little fashion victim mind, God knows but I have pictures that mock me to this day. Then there was the fantastic batwing jumper creation that could double up as a wind breaker on the annual holiday to Weston Super Mare, And least we forget the infamous rara skirt, one of the only eighties articles that I do not feel truly humiliated when I admit to owning one; but in my miniscule rara skirt tottering on 3” white stilettos and delicately sipping the most sophisticated of drinks, a pernod and black, I felt like Madge (Madonna) on my way to El Club Tropicana to do the Jitterbug with the Wham Boys, oh happy days.

Luscious Lashes

Luscious lashes! every girl wants them however we weren't all blessed so how can we achieve them without having to apply false eyelashes everytime we leave the house? I have tried and tested a number of mascara's so I hope my expertise and experience helps you.
I hear you screaming its a mascara maze out there, so many to choose from, which one is right for you....... well with the help of Vicki our slaves 2 fashion guinea pig I have compiled a list of products that you girls can try. Do not despair you too can have sexy long lashes to flutter.

Firstly determine the effect you want to achieve, then observe the length of your natural lashes you may want thicker lashes or longer, more volume the list goes on......
Maybelline have a mascara suitable for small lashes "Lash Discovery One by One" the mini mascara wand makes application easy separating and lengthening the lashes with each stroke. This product is also opthalmologically tested so gets a thumbs up for sensitive eyes and contact lense wearers.

"Max Factor2000 calorie" mascara advertises up to 200% more volume and it works! I have long lashes they do require volume and this product gives the effect of having double the amount of eyelashes the added bonus is that this mascara is smudgeproof. Girls I can assure you this has been put to the test many a saturday night into the wee hours of sunday morning it stays put!!!!

My personal favourite at the moment is "Christian Dior Maximeyes" the mascara wand is thick with shorter bristles and helps brush stray lashes into line giving volume and length at the same time. The sweeping effect of the lashes "maximeyes" your eyes. Vicki tried the "Diorshow" her lashes are curly and the Diorshow mascara helped to separate as well as straightening the unruly lashes so this one gets a thumbs up from her.

Girls when applying your mascara do so slowly to get the best effect brush the lashes with the mascara wand outwards and upwards, don't pump the brush as this only lets air into the chamber drying out your mascara faster, this can only result in clumpy mascara a make up NO NO! Have to hand eyelashes curlers and eyebrow/eyelash brush to help smooth out the lashes after application layer your mascara should you wish but don't do the spiders leg look it's soooooooo over!

Happy hunting for your new mascara, next week I will be giving tips on hair care for summer and how to avoid the hair horror electrocuted scarecrow look when the mixture of chlorine and sun attack.

Handbags @ Dawn

Picture this; 2 bottles of cava, 3 women, 1 man and a heated discussion on the Holy Grail of accessories, what could be more entertaining?We were discussing the merits of the three accessory biggies; shoe, handbag or belt?Of course the man amongst us just didn’t get it! We all aspired to be the owners of the biggest collection of each, his reply to the question was “I only need one belt to hold up my trousers, a pair of shoes to walk in and why would I need a handbag, yours carries everything I could possibly need, including the kitchen sink.

Well as you can imaging a chorus of Nooooooooo followed these comments, and we then tried to educate him on the necessity of owing a collection of each, to rival that of Imelda Marcos. Of course this was of no interest to him and he quickly turned his attention to the boring football match on the telly, well you can’t win them all. The conclusion was that every girl needs a good collection of shoes, obviously go with every outfit you have in your wardrobe, and of course any that you are going to buy in the future. You can live with one handbag if it’s black, and who needs a belt these days, the youngsters show their knickers even when they wear one? This took another 2 bottles of cava and the early hours of Thursday morning to debate and concluded with a huge hangover later that same day, but it was fun you should all pencil a date in your diary to try it.

Following on from this I was researching the spring trends this week and to my horror the polka dot is back in fashion. Now being a curvy size 18, the last time I wore polka dots my mother coupled it with stripy jeans and I still have not got over that humiliation, but my fashion Guru Liz said “first off do not wear polka dots with any other patterns. Put them with a solid colour if you are wearing separates and if you are bigger size try a smaller dot. Also if you are not brave enough to wear a whole polka dot ensemble, just quirk up your wardrobe with a scarf or handbag this will be a delicate nod to this year’s spring trend.

Thankfully this is not the only trend this spring as we are all going 60’s Riviera too. With Nautical stripes and anchors in red white and blue, you too can look like sixties sex kitten Bridged Bardot and try out the sexy sailor look ohhh ships ahoy. Now where do you get all these great things at fabulous prices, on the net of course?

My favorite browsing site is http://www.stylejunkie.co.uk/. It has a fantastic collection of all that is fashionable and includes styles that the stars are wearing, great for keeping up to date and getting a good bargain, everything a good fashion victim needs, oh and they ship to Spain, even better.

Magic Knickers

Being a curvy size 18 I need them to be miracle knickers, but my mission this week, if I choose to accept it, is to test test test, and they better not self destruct after 3 washes!! Immediately I am remind of my childhood, hanging out my grandmas Madam X control Girdles and using up half the washing line per pair. So what’s changed? Its all down to the new sleeker more modern look, the catchy new name, and most importantly the celebrity endorsements, from the likes of Trinny & Suzanna, Gwyneth Paltrow & more recently on GMTV with Lorraine Kelly.

On doing a bit of insider research I have come up with my recommended top three. These results were based on wearability, washability and cost. {mosimage}The top contenders were the Spanx Hide & Sleek Mid-Thigh Smoother, The Playtex Secrets Bottom and Thigh Shaper and the Marks and Spencer’s Firm Control Magic Knickers, fortunately none of which resembled anything like my childhood girdle memories.

The Spanx Mid-Thigh Smoother came out as the best. Extremely functional, cool soft fabric (crucial for our summer temperatures), slimming for all the lumpy, bumpy areas, where every good girl needs it, and costs a mere €25. Well if Gwyneth Paltrow swears by them, who am I to disagree, she obviously needs all the help she can get with that size 6 figure of hers!

The Marks& Spencer’s Firm Control Magic Knickers came in second and the reason they were above the Playtex Secrets Bottom and Thigh Shaper is more to do with the size availability than anything else. They come in size’s 10-22 and cost around €20 where the Playtex Secrets stop at a size 16, and yes that was a tight fit for me.

Now being more of a thong girl it was strange to spend a week in proper knickers as my gran would say. I am not yet a knicker convert and still believe that the thong is, and always will be much more feminine to wear, but I do understand that its not everyone’s choice. However I do think that after trying these fat busting knickers in the last week, I would definitely be inclined to keep a couple of pairs around for special occasions, or when I want to drop a dress size without have to slog my guts out at the gym.

Well where do we get all these fantastic dress size dropping knickers (try saying that when your drunk). I would love to say Sheer Bliss but we don’t yet stock all of these products, although after this week I will certainly be looking to in the very near future, but in the interest of objectivity I again look to the web for inspiration.

I have found another great website called http://www.lingerie-search.com/ These guys have a huge selection, an easy to use website and they deliver to Spain, so what you cant get from us you can get from them.

Read more at www.slaves2fashion.com